Column: Sharing In Suffering

Note: A version of this ran in the bulletin a little more than four years ago, in a different context. Today, I want us to think in terms of those in need here in our backyards.

Especially as I get older, I find that my younger children come home with words or phrases I used to know, but have come to mean something else or slang I’ve never heard. As a father it bugs me not to no what my offspring are saying, particularly about me. As a wordsmith, I can’t stand when innocent words are corrupted to been something nonsensical, opposite, or awful.

Yep, I’m that guy now. Get off my lawn.

One of the things I love about the Catholic Church is her defense of meaning. For example, not everyone distinguishes between liberty—freedom to do the good—and license—freedom to do whatever you want. That’s an important distinction with real outcomes for society.

Other examples: Justice means giving another his or her due. Love means choosing the good of the other. In our faith, justice is not a legal concept, but a virtue: a habit to be actively practiced by individual believers. To give another person his due, we must recognize him as a person, understand him, and determine what is owed to him, always keeping in mind that he is made in the image of God, and (if baptized) is a child of God, no less that we are.

Love is similar—an action word we are called by Christ to habitually apply even to our enemies.  To choose the good for another, we must recognize her as a person made in God’s image and seek to understand her so we can identify and pursue to the best of our ability what is truly good for her. And to love someone as Jesus does—sacrificially—we must identify and choose the good for her regardless of cost to ourselves, for her sake and God’s glory.

That’s a tall order. How do we even begin?

First, we pursue sympathy. I’m an emotional guy, so it’s easy to sympathize with people (even fictional characters) who are suffering—to recognize their pain and feel sorrow for their experience. Sympathy is real and good, as far as it goes, but it’s largely passive—and real love requires discernment and choice.

Next, we seek to grow in empathy, which is a bit harder: It means entering into the suffering of another and sharing their feelings and experiences. It requires effort to put ourselves in their shoes and see things from their perspective, which may be challenging or unpleasant.

Once we are empathetic people, we can cultivate compassion. Compassion is another word that has been watered down today to mean something like “I feel your pain,” but in truth, its meaning is much deeper and more active. Passion in its original sense means suffering. (Think The Passion of the Christ.) Com-passion, then, means to suffer with (as in com-union and com-unity).

Compassion goes beyond recognizing or sharing another’s feelings and experiences to actively trying to help. We might begin by suffering for them—undertaking prayer or fasting on their behalf—but if we are loving as God loves, we will be willing to suffer at their side, in communion, as brother and sisters of Christ and members of His Body.

Suffering for another—family, friend, neighbor, stranger or enemy—is a beautiful act of love. But suffering with another—entering into their mess, walking with them, lifting them up, laying down our lives for them—is the height of love.

Jesus could have prayed for us from heaven. He chose to get his hands dirty. And He urged His followers to do the same.

Want to get started? Sunday, September 22, is the annual Friends of Poor Walk, sponsored by our local St. Vincent de Paul Society and hosted here at the church. Registration begins at noon; the walk begins at 12:30 PM. We walk a 1-1/2 mile loop beginning and ending at the church, with lunch and a celebration to follow.

The Friends of the Poor Walk raises awareness and money to support those in need in our community. Individuals and families can walk, donate, or raise money—or do all three if you are able! Every new walker will receive a Friends of the Poor water bottle, and every walker will receive one free ticket for door-prize drawings and this year's custom water bottle sticker.

Donations and volunteers are always needed, but our top priority is visibility and engagement. We want as many walkers as we can get, of any age, all wearing blue! Learn more, register, or donate online or register or donate in person at the event.  We hope to see you there!
 
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