DISCIPLE: Why I'm Catholic by Beth Pederson

I was afraid of God, until I wasn’t.

I was born in 1971 and raised Catholic. I did not grow up loving God; I was afraid of God. I remember going to Confession and coming out of the confessional feeling worse about myself than I did when I went in. 

Now fast forward to when I am married. My husband, who is not Catholic, and I decided I will raise our children in the Catholic Church. The kids attended parochial school, and I took them to Mass every weekend because I was afraid not to. Then, in fall of 2012, my daughter refused to go to Confirmation preparation. She had friends who identified as gay and lesbian: How could the Catholic Church be so unwelcoming and want to prevent love? I tried to present the Church’s position, but to no avail. I took her to meet with a priest, who told my daughter it was okay to question her faith, that he also had questions at her age and left the Catholic Church. My daughter completely missed his beautiful story of being lost and wandering until he found God again. All she heard was it was okay to leave the Catholic Church. I was devastated. I gave up on God and my commitment to raise my children in the Church, and I left, too.

About eight years later, I was referred to a natural health provider to help with stomach issues. She was so full of the Holy Spirit that I wondered to which religion she belonged. As I improved, she praised God’s healing and love. I realized right then that I wanted what she had.

“Where do you go to church?” I asked. “St. Michael Catholic Church,” she said. “You will love it there.”

I went and was surprised that the homilies were not doom and gloom and thou-shall-nots. The priests took the readings, wove in God’s message of love, and then made this love story applicable. Mind-blowing! I went to Confession, expecting to be berated for my sins. When I was done, I saw the biggest smile and the kindest eyes. I knew I was looking at the priest, but I also saw Jesus, as he said, “Welcome back.”

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This article appears in the Spring 2024 edition of the DISCIPLE newsletter. If you are not receiving DISCIPLE in your mailbox, contact the parish office at 763-497-2745  to register as a parishioner or update your contact information.