Wednesday Witness: Let Yourself Be Loved

We are blessed to be hosting two young women from the NET team leading retreats for our St. Michael Catholic School middle-level students this week. It’s a wonderful opportunity to practice hospitality in our own home, underscoring the wisdom of the old saying, “It’s better to give than to receive.” We feel very blessed to open our home, to share our food, to visit and pray with people who are making themselves available to our daughter Lily and her classmates in such a beautiful, faith-filled way.

But the gift of giving is not what this column is about. Instead, I want to focus on the gift of receiving.

These two young women came into our home not knowing at all what to expect. We have a large and overfriendly dog and a house that comprises a wide array of half-finished renovations. We had a supper plan made independently of them. We knew nothing about them and wanted them to be comfortable, so we asked questions, provided options, and generally talked their ears off.

And they smiled and opened their hearts to receive. They let us love them.

 That’s no small thing. Most of us have moments in which we wanted attention, or recognition, or even gifts—often in a superficial or self-centered way, like a kid at Christmas. But when push comes to shove, we’re often uncomfortable with focused attention, needed support, or genuine affection. We struggle to let ourselves be loved.

I suspect this is because we don’t believe we deserve so great a gift and can’t imagine how we will ever pay it back.

Over the years of my dad’s illness, and especially in the weeks prior to his passing, a few dear friends and family members did so much to help care for him and support my mom, my sister, and me. It was hard to admit we needed the help and hard to invite people into our sorrow and mess, to risk them seeing where we might be falling short. When we started to let people in, we felt badly about how much time and effort they gave us, expecting and accepting nothing in return. They loved us hard in those moments, and the more we received their love, the more grace and strength we found to persevere and carry our own crosses.

That’s the paradox of God’s love: The more we surrender, the more we can bear, “for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). And if we truly believe that generosity is good for the soul, then opening ourselves up to receive what others desire to share is a wonderful way to love our neighbor.

We are experiencing that firsthand this week. Thank you, Josie and Grace, for the gift of letting us love you!