Wednesday Witness: Belong, Believe, Behave

Over the past week or so, I’ve found myself reflecting on a homily delivered by Father Richards some years ago. I have written about it before; the gist of the message was this:

• People in a group or community often insist that those who want to join behave properly and believe correctly in order to belong (Behave, Believe, Belong).
• People on the margins, however, need a place to belong, where they can come to believe, and learn to behave (Belong, Believe, Behave).

Belong, Believe, Behave is the natural order of things. From the moment we are born into a family, we need secure attachments to our parents to form healthy, ordered relationships and learn to navigate the world. But once we find our place in the world, we often lose sight of the fact that we ever weren’t a part of it.

I’m thinking about this most recently in the context of serving those in need with St. Vincent de Paul. We assist our neighbors as best we can, regardless of their background or beliefs, but it is challenging to meet people where they are when, time and again, their choices land them back in trouble, when they are immersed in habitual sin or trapped in an economic hole of their own digging. I find myself wishing they would just behave sensibly and believe that they can change and that tomorrow can be different. THEN it would be so much easier to walk with them, right?

When that frustration bubbles up in my heart, it is good for me to recall my pre-conversion self. As a young man, I was self-righteous and condescending, believing myself to be better than those who were struggling around me by virtue of my good choices, never recognizing that, in some cases, I had choices others only dream of. I straddled the fence of faith, dabbling in prayer and church without actually repenting or trying to change for the better. It took 15 years to overcome the serious sins I brought into my marriage and family, and I’m still struggling with a host of “lesser” sins that provide my monthly Confession fodder.
I went to church with Jodi because I wanted to belong. I rejoined the Catholic Church because Father Bill invited me in, sins and all. I came to believe from within her walls, and I continue to learn to behave—to love God, neighbor, and enemy.

Change is hard. Breaking and building habits is harder still, and overcoming generational trauma and sin is the work of a lifetime. But I can think of nowhere that Jesus refuses help to those who ask. He encourages and invites; He helps  and heals—then He calls people to repentance and conversion. Belong, Believe, Behave…