Wednesday Witness: Charity by the Numbers

You’ve all heard the adage, “Bad things come in threes.” It seems to play out time and again—one thing leads to another and another. Of course, once the seed is planted, we look for three, and when we identify the third event, we restart the counter. Sure enough, three more catastrophes are coming if we wait long enough.

But I can’t dismiss the old wisdom entirely. In my time working with the Society of St. Vincent de Paul, I have yet to encounter a neighbor who wasn’t juggling multiple problems—a cluster of issues snowballing into a crisis.

Sometimes it’s bad luck. Sometimes, poor planning. Sometimes it’s a series of personal choices we wish they could take back. Sometimes it’s systemic—problems often seem to progress faster than solutions. And sometimes it’s generational poverty, addiction, and sin taking its toll, rippling out to touch everyone in an ever-widening circle.

I see it with St. Vincent de Paul, but also in my own circle of friends and family. I’m betting all of us know and love at least one person who seems to be a magnet for trouble. Even when they try to do good, it backfires, and you begin to wonder what, if anything, can really be done: “Should I even pick up this call? What is it THIS time? Is she still with that guy? Did he finish his rehab? How many times can we bail them out?”

Then Peter approaching asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus answered, “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” – Matthew 18:21-22

It is tempting—especially in the US, where individual freedom, responsibility, and achievement is so highly prized—to be suspicious or think ill of the poor. We wonder if it’s their own fault. We wonder if they are really ready to change. We wonder if they are lying to us and to themselves. We wonder if they are too broken for our help to have any lasting effect.

I wonder if Jesus feels the same about each of us.


Thankfully, God’s love is not primarily a numbers game, unless the equation is “one soul = infinite value.” We don’t have to earn God’s love, and, praise God, we are never too broken for His help to have a lasting effect.

Jesus is our model for that love: self-sacrificing and merciful. He is unflinchingly honest, but also unfailingly hopeful.

So when we struggle to love our neighbors due to their poor choices, difficult personalities, or circumstances beyond our ability to manage or influence, we should choose sacrifice and mercy, honesty and hope.

That’s not to say that we should “throw good money after bad”—but rather, although charity involves money, it is not really about money. It’s about the loving presence of God, who forgives and receives us, again and again and again.